Steve's Blog

At a recent meeting with one of my spiritual mentors, he off-handedly said, “All of life is about trust.” I have been captivated by this statement and have prayed and written extensively in my journal about it. There is so much truth about these six golden words…all of life is about trust.

Consider it for yourself. Trust is adjacent to and expressive of love. We love God because he first loved us. We live for God in an attitude and posture of trust, because he first loved us. To trust God means to surrender our will into his loving hands. To speak of God’s love, we can’t help but to entrust our lives into his love and lordship. No matter what. To pray to the God of love, we listen attentively to his whispers of love, and we respond to those initiatives with a longing and desire to trust him with all matters great and small. Yes, trust is an essential element of our faith in the Triune God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

To trust another person is an outcome of love. As we grow in affection for others, we learn to trust them over time. And, in order for us to be loved and trusted, we too need to show by word, heart, and example that we are trustworthy. But, as we all can attest, at some point in our lives we experience a breach of trust in relationships. So, to dig our way out of such conflicts, we rebuild trust and we lean on love as guideposts along the redemptive journey. Love and trust go hand in glove for human relationships as well as in our faith in God.

To trust one’s self is another facet of love. In our walk of faith, we are connecting with the true God and we are called to embrace our true self as a gift from God. He invites us to receive our identity from our beloved status as a child of God, which comes mercifully from Christ, the One who himself knew true love sent from heaven when at his baptismal, the words from the Father in heaven were very simply, “This is my son, who I love, in whom I am well pleased.” Those same words belong to us as well, for you and I are God’s beloved children, in whom God delights. Recalling that true identity is what keeps us from receiving all the wrong messages of shame and guilt that our world seeks to enhance.

So, during this Lenten season, will you choose to build up trust, first with God, then within yourself, and also with others? Without love there is no trust. Would it also be true that without trust there is no love? If all of life is about trust, then what better time to focus on trust than in the season of Lent? In what ways have you been about the purpose of building up trust and in what ways have you been a part of hurting trust or mistrusting God, others or yourself? Repent of whatever sin you have committed that is marring trust, and renew your heart of trusting love for the days ahead.

Into your hands, O Lord, we place our whole selves, trusting that your vision for our lives and the life of the world is far richer than we could ever ask or imagine. Renew in us daily the choice to love and serve you without reservation. Amen. (From Guide to Prayer for All Who Walk with God, p. 124).

“In a culture of self-realization, the Christian’s call is to renounce self; in the face of noise, silence is the preference; in a world of competition, the Christian’s declaration is that the winners will be the losers and the losers winners; in a culture whose economy is intent on consumption, the Christian insists on simplicity; in a culture structured by possessions, the insistence is upon detachment; in a culture intent on a high standard of living, the Christian insists upon a high standard of life; and at every point, the Christian exposes the emptiness of fullness for the sake of the gospel’s fullness of emptiness.” (From W. Paul Jones, The Art of Spiritual Direction, quoted in A Guide to Prayer for All Who Walk with God, p. 127).

What’s your choice this Lenten season:
Self-realization or self-renouncing humility?
Noise or silence?
Competition or cooperation?
Consumption or simplicity?
Possessions or detachment?
High standard of living or of life?
Emptiness of fullness or fullness of emptiness?

Lent is a great time for deep self-reflection. Be vulnerable before God and those who know you best and love you most. Come to grips with your sinfulness and cry out for God’s gift of forgiveness, mercy and grace. The truth will set you free. Freedom will allow you to worship, pray and serve with gladness and singleness of heart. May it be so.

As I conclude this mini-series on the new social mores of our age, I continue to have growing concern about how we’re communicating with one another. I’m additionally and profoundly challenged by the ways we are handling relationships through our use of social media.

Regarding Facebook, Twitter, Instagram…just to name a few…are you asking yourself the question “Why?” about each of these before creating your next post? Do you log every minute, every ounce of minutia, every moment of the day? If so, for what purpose? Unless you are a professional blogger, I see little reason for such incessant activity. As I peruse FB and even contribute to it regularly, I get a check in my spirit when I’m bordering on or entering into the realm of self-promotion, show-boating, and the all-about-me mentality. I recognize the value of keeping appropriate people in life informed about our whereabouts, happenings, updates, etc. but have we subtly crossed the line into creating a culture of narcissism that has no apparent limits? Do all of our “friends” need to be informed or would a piece of the story be better preserved if kept a bit more personal, truly private, and shared with fewer people?

And, what about the bullying going on via emails, texts, tweets, and Facebook? Has kindness simply been thrown out the window and instead we can now relate without any restraint? Or, when there’s “nothing new under the sun,” why are we seeing so many TM (trademarks) next to our “friends” use of the English language in particular ways to market their own products, programs, or promotional campaigns? Is the fundamental value of trust being lost? These are just a few questions to ask about social media…with a strong suggestion to ask “Why?” about your involvements in the various social media settings where you reside. This might simply be the best place to begin.

A few reflection questions to prayerfully consider:
How much are you involved in social media? Are you maintaining an appropriate level of engagement and is it manageable and relationally wholesome? Is your engagement in social media edifying to the Lord and offered as a gift to others? This might be a great topic of conversation for you and your closest friends…who knows but you might just lead a revolution from within the system!

May the Lord continue to deepen your love for Him and may your God-honoring affection be what you contagiously share with others within your reach both personally and electronically. May these new social mores create from within us a conviction for social moorings with strong biblical values that can withstand the social morons who are now surrounding us on every side! Being salt and light in our social media world may in fact call us to a distinctly Christlike way of being with one another…you agree? May it be so!

As I started in the previous blog, I have a growing concern about how we’re communicating with one another in a variety of social settings…offered from my personal observations. I’m curious about how this is affecting our life together as brothers and sisters in Christ, and wonder if you’re sensing the same things.

So, I’d like to offer here a few additional noticings:

Have you paid attention to the abundance of self-referencing going on today? One person shares their heart; the other responds with their own application of the story instead of simply being present to empathetically attend. “Oh yea, that happened to me as well…” or “Looks great, did you know I’ve been there/done that too…” then adding all their own tiresome details. Reality: we have learned a new way of listening that’s more about what I’m hearing from my own personal vantage point rather than focusing exclusively on the speaker’s words and accompanying thoughts, experiences, and/or feelings.

What about one-up-man-ship…always having to be better looking, wiser, wittier or wealthier than another? You know those kind of people who can only be in the presence of others if the spotlight can be appropriately turned on them, and if not, will do whatever it takes to be sure it is. This is evidenced in clothing, automobiles, homes, self-care, story telling, political convictions, educational achievements, etc. Reality: it’s painful to be in the presence of our competitors who will do what it takes to get the attention and seek purposefully or inadvertently to be better than you.

The next two go hand in glove…no restraint and no filters. Those without restraint will say anything that comes to their mind, albeit random, unnecessary, or even hurtful. Having no restraint in relational settings can at times be humorous, but only when it’s self-deprecating. Most of the time, no restraint means no social sense of what’s appropriate for the company or occasion. Add to that no filters, then it’s often without boundaries, with words, feelings, and attitudes expressed whenever and with whomever is present. Reality: gone is acceptable etiquette and appropriately filtered restraint between persons.

May I suggest some additional personal inventory reflection questions:
1. Recall one of the most immediate personal interactions you had with a friend, family member, or work associate. Were you fully present for the other person’s sake alone, or did you need to bring up your own illustration of what was being discussed?
2. Who is your greatest relational competitor? How can you avoid competing with others in your own personal interactions with others today?
3. Having trouble with maintaining appropriate restraint and/or filters in conversations or on social media? If so, seek accountability so as not to be an offense to others and be open to candid feedback when you cross over boundaries which lead to unhealthy relationships.

Relationships within the body of Christ should reflect the tone, style, and posture of Jesus. He was always fully attentive to those with whom He loved and served. His was the way of humility. He spoke with bold and purposeful intentionality, never wasting words or speaking in a vacuum. May it be so for us, even today, as we interact with all who cross our path. May we be salt and light, filled with joy and freedom, peace and love in all our personal interactions.

Some of the new ways we’re communicating with one another – or not – concern me. I’m curious if these impressions and reflections resonate with your experience too. And, I’m wondering if as believers in Jesus there is a higher ground to stand upon…

For example, with our eyes fixed on our smart phones, we simply aren’t fully present with one another. We’re distracted, believing we can multi-task (even though that theory’s been proven false) and still remain focused. Reality: we’re at maximum about 50% present to another when we’re reading and/or responding to texts or social media, talking on the telephone, playing online/video games, or typing url’s into our search engines.

Which leads to inattentive listening, “Oh, I’m sorry, were you saying something?” or selective listening, “Huh? No, I was busy and missed that one (translation: I chose to tune it out!).” Reality: our easily distracted minds can only handle so much input and we are left with receiving only that which we can or choose to absorb. Left alone in our own personal orbits, we miss a lot of both spoken and unspoken meaning in our relational interactions.

May I suggest we all consider a personal inventory, asking ourselves:

Are you fixated on having your smart phone within reach at all times? When do you ever turn it off or leave it behind for the express purpose of being free from the demands of others in order to be fully present to yourself or those around you?

What would your closest friend or family member say about your (in)ability to listen? What words would they use to describe your listening skills?

Lord Jesus, help me to focus today on You, Your people, and Your invitation to be fully aware of Your presence, peace, and power, and to all who will cross my path. May I be free from distraction so that with love and compassion I may be Your vessel of grace each hour of my day. For the honor of Your name and the glory of Your Kingdom. Amen.

Whenever I’m asked to remember something or someone in my prayers, I want to be sure to follow through faithfully. Whenever I’ve asked someone else to remember me in their prayers, I’m hoping they will do the same.

But, I must admit…unless I pray then and there, I’m likely to forget. Not because I intend to forget, but simply due to the reality of a very full ministry life. And, who among us isn’t in need of prayer in the moment and on point?

I was in a conversation recently with a friend who was “in the know” about some important information about a mutual acquaintance. As the details were being explained to me, I asked how this was known. “I was asked to pray about it” was the reply.

Cynical me wondered if indeed this inside info was something held onto for sharing at opportune moments. Or, if in fact, the need was being remembered in prayer.

Then, almost like a prick of conscience, I was reminded of additional data about this circumstance…something I was going to pray about! But instead I recited it in the conversation as if it was shared with me “Merely FYI.”

There’s a huge difference between FYI (for your information) and FYP (for your prayers). The former can become chatter, gossip, or worse yet, forgotten. The latter is of far greater importance…prayer.

So, the next time you’re “in the know” about the needs of another, be sure to remember it all in prayer. A mere “FYI” doesn’t come close to the fervent, heartfelt, loving prayer of one saint on behalf of another. And, by the way, whenever I’m asking for prayer please treat it with care…pray and then only share if appropriate; not FYI or even for others’ ears, but for your gracious prayers instead. I promise to do the same!

“The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with” (James 5:16, The Message).

My wife and I were away recently for a week off and had no connection to wifi or the internet. We traveled with a group of 10 others and enjoyed meals, walks, sunshine, games, recreation, sharing and laughter, all without any of us tied to our phones or laptops. It was pure joy.

Now we’re “back to reality” and frankly “back to bondage” once again. I’m realizing afresh how liberating it was to not be tied to email, social media, or any form of internet-based work or personal connection. The moment we were within reach of our networks or wifi, our eyes were drawn away from being fully present with one another and focused once again toward the screens before us on our cell phones and/or laptops. It was incredible how fast it happened.

And, it’s really an unfortunate reality today. We’ve become so addicted to staying connected, even when that contact is minimal or filled more with curiosity and comparison than with love and concern. When I got back on Facebook, I realized once again how much I didn’t miss it. As the emails poured into my inbox I recognized my sadness at just how many there were and the life-draining task of clearing the backlog.

If my reality includes ongoing and repetitive response to email, texts, social media, and internet, I’m now convinced more than ever that I will need more frequent breaks. How? I so enjoyed a week without all of it, I’m considering how best to be removed from it more often in the days to come. It’s probably not feasible to give it up completely, so I must decide for myself much more disciplined limits to acquire. I already take a similar break each Sabbath day (from sun down on Saturday to sun down on Sunday), but that’s simply not enough. I need additional “electronics-free” zones that regularly set me free from the constant barrage of email and social media. I need to be released from within myself of manic busyness, popularity contests, and comparisons…and stay focused instead on pursuing a vibrant life with God that’s filled with freedom, joy, peace, and Jesus! How about you?

Do you enjoy the constant state of connectedness that’s available to you each and every moment of the day? Are you more and more engaged in social media in order to stay up or ahead of the game of life? Or are you too tiring of the 24/7 nature of life that the internet, social media, texts, and email lead you to occupy and preoccupy every waking moment of the day? Imagine a life that keeps all of this in better balance and held in proper prospective…you might even notice more, engage more, appreciate more, and ultimately live more abundantly.

Try it and see for yourself! And, whatever you decide, make sure it’s written into your personal rule of life!

Many centuries ago, one hero of the faith chose purposefully to live the Christian faith counter-culturally. Around A.D. 540, Benedict developed a rule of life for faithful followers of Christ. In the midst of increasing religious and secular pressures, Benedict began the journey of discerning the will of God for himself and those he lived with.

In his classic “Little Rule for Beginners” Benedict’s opening word is Listen! He offers a way of listening in a safe, faith-filled community environment. Here God’s voice can be heard by those seeking him through humility and obedience. In community, like-minded and like-heated believers best learn to practice the disciplines of prayer, healthy relationships and good works.

According to Benedict, God becomes the primary informant of the heart and mind when believers learn to listen to his voice. Out of this posture of listening, God calls each one to loving intimacy in prayer, faith and life. Such a disciplined journey may be difficult at first, Benedict confesses, but “as we progress in this life and in faith, our hearts will expand with the inexpressible joy of love as we run the way of God’s commandments.” Thus the ultimate outcome of living by a rule of life is joy. Loving worship and faith-filled service to God produces pure joy. This is the pathway to the abundance of life.

Benedict thought and prayed about how best to live for God in this world. His classic rule was crafted in isolation, but tested and transformed in community. In a cave near the Anio River in Subiaco, Italy, Benedict came to the full realization that God’s call was toward humility, as expressed both in contemplation (a life of prayer) and community (a life of love). This twofold priority became the backbone of Benedict’s rule of life.

Is it time for you to “cave away” from the busyness and noise of this world and listen humbly to the gentle voice of God? To discover your own personal rule of life takes time and concerted effort; you must listen to God and discern what he wants you to be and do for his glory. Fulfilling a personal rule of life, centered in the pursuit of a well-developed spiritual life within a predominantly secular society, is difficult to say the least. But it’s certainly not impossible.

Set apart time to prayerfully listen and then write out what you sense is God’s invitation to your life. If you need help crafting your personal rule of life be sure to consult www.ruleoflife.com for resources for this journey.

Your personal rule of life is a holistic description of the Spirit-empowered rhythms and relationships that create, redeem, sustain and transform the life God invites you to humbly fulfill for Christ’s glory.

All of us have an unwritten personal rule of life that we are following, some with great clarity, others unknowingly. We wake at certain times, get ready for our days in particular ways, use our free time for assorted purposes and practice rhythms of work, hobbies, worship, vacation and so on. There is already a rule in place that you are following today. Isn’t it time to give up our unwritten rule and prayerfully write one that more closely matches the heartbeat of God?

Those who fail to do so are like wild, untamed grape vines. They will produce some fruit, but they probably won’t be as abundant as they could be. Instead, they become more vulnerable to things that threaten their spiritual vitality. However, those who are intentionally reflective, prayerful and attentively responsive are like cultivated vines. Growing on a trellis (a rule of life) and cultivated toward maturity, they become spiritually formed. The trellis curbs our tendency to wander and supports our rather frail attempts to be nurtured spiritually. Our lives will produce an abundance of fruit for the glory of God. Mature vines are cultivated to produce the best fruit.

Though your life seems full, does it at times feel unfulfilling and empty? Perhaps you may be allowing others to define how you should live. Do you yearn to hear the voice of God louder than that of a parent, family member, friend, teacher, pastor, boss or leader? Do you feel the need for clarity and focus? Or are you looking for a way out of boredom and mediocrity? Perhaps you long for a refreshing, renewing lifestyle. Whatever the reason or life situation, you feel compelled  to consider the invitation God has for you today. He is calling you to himself, gifting you for service and empowering you for the abundant life.

Perhaps it is time to write out your own personal rule of life. Check out www.ruleoflife.com for additional, practical help crafting one that fits the true you!

What do you think of when you hear the word “rule”? For many of us, the word has negative connotations. We are likely to think of rules as boundaries that forbid us from doing something. But a rule of life is something else. Rather than being a set of laws that forbid us to do certain things, a rule of life is a set of guidelines that support or enable us to do the things we want and need to do.

A rule of life allows us to clarify our deepest values, our most important relationships, our most authentic hopes and dreams, our most meaningful work, our highest priorities. It allows us to live with intention and purpose in the present moment.

The word “rule” derives from a Latin word, regula, which implies not so much a system of rules or laws, but rather a way of regulating or regularizing our lives so that we can stay on the path we have set out for ourselves. A rule is like a trellis which offers support and guidance for a plant, helping it to grow in a certain direction. A rule of life is descriptive in that it articulates our intentions and identifies the ways in which we want to live. And when we fall short of these intentions, the rule becomes prescriptive, showing us how we can return to the path that we have set for ourselves and recapture our original vision. It is not something fixed and rigid, but something which can and should be adapted to our present circumstances and shaped to fit our current needs and desires.

In the ancient sense of the term, regula or rule meant “guidepost” or “railing,” something to hang on to in the dark, that leads in a given direction, points out the road or gives us support as we climb. It’s created of the raw material of our lives and it assumes no great wisdom or spiritual depth to understand. Instead, it’s an invitation to life in all its fullness, depending on God and listening attentively to his voice. And it’s fulfilled in the simple routines of everyday life, bursting forth from a well-ordered heart and resulting in the well-ordered way.

Why not try your hand at crafting a rule of life starting today? Go to http://www.ruleoflife.com for more information and additional resources to guide your journey.