Steve's Blog

The Head of the Charles Regatta is often referred to as “The Rowers Christmas” – a time when rowers of all ages, from around the globe, gather in Cambridge, Massachusetts for their annual international reunion. From youth to senior adults, college and university teams, and representatives from regional and citywide boat clubs, thousands of rowers and their fans descend upon the city of Boston and neighboring Cambridge to race on the legendary Charles River. It’s a beautiful site for all spectators who line the river from end to end to witness this unique sport.

My wife and I recently met some of the rowers who raced the previous day. They gave us the inside story about the history of the race, the significance of it for rowers worldwide, the demanding schedule for preparation, and even showed us their blistered hands…with pride and joy! We were delighted to hear about the regatta from those who experience it first hand, and have done so for many years. Since it was a gorgeous weekend in New England to race this October, they compared it with previous years when heavy rains, blistering temperatures (both highs and lows), and challenging river conditions, made the race all the more challenging. This year all the elements combined together to create a positive experience for all.

The person I enjoyed chatting with the most was the “coxswain” – who happened to be the smallest one in the group. This is the person who huddles down low and issues commands to the rowers, who are turned the opposite way and provide instructions to the rowers to ensure racing strength and speed for the boat. Those in singles and doubles competition don’t have a coxswain, and need to navigate the accuracy of their races on their own. But, in boats with teams of four or eight rowers, a coxswain is essential for guiding them across the water toward the finish line safely.

A most unusual name, coxswain is the person in charge of navigating and steering the boat. The etymology of the word comes literally from “boat servant” since it comes from cox, a coxboat or other small vessel kept aboard a larger ship, and swain, which is an Old English term meaning boy or servant. In rowing, the coxswain sits in either the bow or the stern of the boat (depending on the type of boat) and verbally controls the boat’s steering, speed, timing, and fluidity. The primary duty of a coxswain is to ensure the safety of those in the boat. In a race setting, the coxswain is tasked with motivating the crew as well as steering as straight of a course as possible to minimize the distance to the finish line. Coxswains are also responsible for knowing proper rowing technique and running drills to improve technique.

All who work with leaders and teams, like we do at Leadership Transformations, can quickly derive the association of coxswain leadership to servant leadership. To be a good coxswain, you work from a smaller placement in the boat and sit lower than the rowers (exercising humility), must keep your eyes and ears open for safety sake (be shepherd-like and protective), serve as a motivator of those doing the rowing (providing encouragement), and give guidance to those on the front line of the competition (coaching and attending), in order for the boat and its rowers to successfully complete the race (offering persevering hope for the team).

Jesus invites us in church and ministry leadership to be coxswain in our efforts too. When we exercise humility, be shepherd-like and protective, provide ongoing encouragement, coach attentively, and offer persevering hope to our team…then we are leading as a servant, with our eyes not on ourselves, but toward the goal and always for the sake of the team.

All of this is in keeping with the coxswain-like words of Jesus, “Whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:44,45).

That’s the kind of leader I want to be…what about you?

There’s this crazy sign on the side of the road that makes me smile each time I drive by…simply put, it reads “Free Manure.”

I’ve yet to stop and take advantage of the deal. But, the sign’s always there no matter the season of the year. And, quite noticeable to all passers by. What intrigues me the most is the story behind the sign…who lives up that driveway, and why was the sign put there in the first place? Does someone bag it up and there it sits for anyone who turns off the road and stops for their supply? Is it from horses, cattle, pigs, chickens, turkeys, or other animals (it certainly wouldn’t be human waste…or could it be)? Is it for gardens of all kinds, or most appropriate for certain plants?

Manure is organic matter for organic growth, most specifically for agricultural purposes. Manures contribute to the fertility of the soil, adding organic nutrients such as nitrogen, and contributes effectively to the chain of life in the soil food web. Bottom line…it adds humus to the soil. And humus is good for inspiring growth of all plant life.

So, I’m assuming that the person behind the sign is someone who cares about organic growth – the sign maker recently added two words “go green” so I’m pretty convinced that verifies my assumption. But, I wonder if his/her spouse embraces this home marker/welcome mat and likes the sign too? And, if there are children in the family, how do they feel about describing their house location as the one “on route 1A at the free manure sign on the right”? Can you imagine the conversations this sign has evoked?

Across the street and down the road a bit is a local church. What if someone put the “Free Manure” sign outside the church entrance one day? It might be a creative trick to play on the church, but it most certainly would not be very funny to the congregants. Or, should it be?

If the church really cares about organic growth, then all manure-of-life should be welcomed…and then set free to be given away (at the foot of the cross) and redeemed for good (eternal) purposes. Consider the following: when the manure of our life is brought before the Lord and becomes soil for our soul…it becomes humility. When we’re willing to get close to it with all its filth and stench…it’s amazing to see how it can be redeemed for creating new life and then prosper in the service of others. Yes, freed up manure – the dirty stuff of our lives that isn’t very pretty, when welcomed at the doorstep of the church, is what frequently produces humble confession, forgiveness, renewal, and organic transformation in the hearts and lives of broken-yet-restored people.

What about for you? Are you willing to acknowledge your own sinfulness and then set your manure by the side of the road of grace to be taken away by Jesus for free? If so, then you’ll be able to watch with joy how it gets buried among the good soil, seeded for healthy growth, and then harvested from deep within your soul 60, 100 times more than what was previously planted! Jesus the Redeemer died so that your humus and mine, your idiosyncracies, bad habits, wayward ways, and pridefulness could all be considered dung for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus our Lord (Phil. 3:8).

Free manure…such a deal.

When the newly elected Pope Francis declared that the Vatican had become a
hotbed of intrigue and power struggles, he instructed his policemen at the
Vatican to “crack down on gossip” within the walls of the holy city. He
defined gossip as “the devil’s work, a forbidden language, and a war waged
with the tongue.” He told the gendarmes gathered for mass that day to tell
gossipers they catch in the act, “Here there can be none of that!”

“Good for him!” I thought to myself as I read this news report. It made me
consider how deadly gossip can be for any church or ministry. The Bible
references a gossiper as a backbiter, busybody, slanderer, talebearer, and
whisperer. Gossip spreads rumors or secrets, speaking about someone
maliciously behind their back or repeating something about someone else
that you have no right to repeat. A gossiper is a person who has
privileged information about people and proceeds to reveal that
information to those who have no business knowing it.

Lest we think the Vatican is the only place where gossip exists, don’t be
fooled. Gossip is in your church, ministry, city, neighborhood, in your
home, and of far greater significance, in your own heart and sometimes
even on your lips. Are you willing to declare such an admission? Does it
bother you enough to do something about it?

Pope Francis sees the problem and wants it eradicated from his church. His
leadership reminds me of St. Benedict, who in the year 500 AD sought to do
likewise among his followers, reminding them that at times “a little
strictness” of discipline among the brethren will be enforced in order to
“safeguard love” in the community. What the pope is doing today is
exercising “a little strictness” by asking his Vatican police to hold the
faithful to a higher standard of love and cease any form of gossip.

The Bible is replete with detailed reminders about the damaging affects of
gossip. “A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close
friends” (Prov. 16:28). “Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets,
but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered” (Prov. 11:13)
therefore, do not associate with a simple babbler (Prov. 20:19). “As
charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for
kindling strife” (Prov. 26:20). Other places to consider: Psalms 41:7;
Prov. 25:23; Rom. 1: 28-32; 2 Cor. 12:20; 1 Tim. 3:9-11, 5: 13-14; 2 Tim.
3:1-5…just to name a few more.

Any words that come out of an untamed tongue are likened to a feather
pillow, opened and released from a window on a windy day…free to roam as
far as the wind will carry them, and nearly impossible to recollect back
into the pillow case. The damage of gossip is beyond control, outrageous
in the net negative effect upon all who are connected directly or
indirectly.

“A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends”
(Prov. 16:28). Many a friendship has been ruined by a misunderstanding
that began with gossip. Sadly, some people thrive on this and look for
opportunities to hurt or destroy the reputation of another, causing anger,
bitterness, and pain in relationships. To bring it to an end is a
challenge in many settings today. But certainly not impossible.

Some practical suggestions for avoiding gossip: don’t associate with those
you know to be a lover of gossip; when someone starts to gossip, quickly
change the subject to something more positive; stay as far away from
gossip as possible; if you’ve fallen into gossip, ask God to help
change your heart and redirect your mind and words; when you are a
victim of gossip, seek every way possible to lovingly confront the parties
spreading the rumor and cease it as swiftly as possible.

Bottom line…gossip is a matter of the heart. “A fool’s mouth is his
undoing, and his lips are a snare to his soul” (Prov. 18:7). In fact
gossip is a blatant sin against God and one’s neighbor. Will you take up
the mantle of bold leadership among your community and seek to eradicate
it? Or, will you let it continue untamed in your midst? My simple
suggestion: it’s time to humbly, prayerfully, and firmly crack down on
gossip! I trust you agree.

I recently submitted a new book proposal on the subject of humility. But, after the editorial team at this (held anonymous) publishing house reviewed it, they decided against it…their reason: humility doesn’t sell.

Interesting to note what does sell today! Books of a self help nature or with fascination toward winning or bettering oneself in one way or another. Self promotion seems to reign supreme in this glorified high school world of Facebook (which I’m on) and Blogging (which I do) and in a culture where we compete with one another (yup that’s in me too) and critique others out of a place of deep insecurities (ok that’s true of me too) in order to climb whatever ladder is in front of us (been there done that)…none of which looks at all like humility!

We are willing to sell our souls to the company store in order to afford all that the online, big box, and mall stores have to offer. Even in the world of ministry and yes even in the realm of spiritual formation ministry, there is a fascination for being the best, brightest, busiest, and even the most witty, wise and wealthy (go figure!). We live in a rather dog eat dog (horrible image…sorry) world and an upwardly mobile one to boot. So, it’s difficult to raise topics like “dying to self” and “considering the needs of others more important than your own” and “coming alongside another for their sake and not your own” and “sacrificial service” and “generous giving” and “giving up” and “letting go” and “choosing less” and “false self” and “reordering loves” and “releasing attachments.”

Yes, the publisher was absolutely right…humility doesn’t sell, at least not in our self-focused world today. But, I would suggest, humility is more precious than diamonds, more costly than gold, and more beautiful than any other gift we can offer another. When you know someone with a humble heart you have a firsthand glimpse of the eyes, and you touch the hands, and you hear the voice, and you feel the love of God.

Thank you to the humble ones who gave of themselves so I could experience the true heart of God. I’m sold out on humility…not because I understand or live it myself but because I’m a grateful recipient…and my life has been marked permanently by the gifts of an abundant life I’ve received from humble-hearted servants of the most humble, sacrificial, and generous One of all…Jesus.

Does humility sell in your heart too? Can you imagine life without the humble? Would you be willing to forfeit something you think you can’t live without today in order to offer a humble gift of love to someone who crosses your path, yes even today?

Consider the needs of others as greater than your own…and then watch your heart come alive! Phil 2: 3-11

It’s fall. That time of year when we put our bathing suits away and pull out our brief cases instead. It’s back to work. Back to school. Back to the routine. Back to the basics.

I recently started a new journal. It’s my third this calendar year. I normally don’t journal this much, but it’s been an incredibly full year so far with lots to process in prayer. Before I begin a new journal I scan the previous one. It was such fun to recount the events of the past handful of months. Wow, God has been very good.

But, as I open a new journal, and after I fill up the first few pages with notes that capture my overall spiritual priorities, I’m struck once more by some of the extra sheets that get transferred to the back of the journal and travel with me into this new season. One of the sheets: my personal rule of life.

I wrote a book about rule of life; it’s called Crafting A Rule of Life. We developed an interactive website for the book, known as http://www.RuleOfLife.com As I transfer my personal rule of life into the back of my new journal, I’m reminded of what I believe to be true about my life with God. I love my rule of life. It kind of “defines me” and “directs me” and “protects me” – you might say it “basics me.”

Why? Because my rule of life is what takes me back to the basics. When the complexities of life pull me all different directions, my rule of life keeps me grounded. More solid. More connected. More God-focused. More others-sensitive. More self-aware. More of who God made me to be.

Is it time for you to get back to the basics? Do you know what and who and when and where and why you are who you are in the sight and purposes and childhood of God? Let me invite you to consider hopping off the treadmill of the over-the-edge, sometimes out-of-control, activity-of-life and into a more grounded, focused, and intentional way of being…more like the person God made you to be.

Back to the basics. It’s worked for millennia. It can work for you too. http://www.RuleOfLife.com

Over the past decade I’ve had the privilege of serving alongside 20-Somethings, known as well by the term “Millennials” – and have enjoyed doing so immensely. They make me laugh, keep me young-at-heart, encourage and impress me…but that’s just half the story. The other half are my concerns and corresponding challenges raised by what I see as the rather spoiled, narcissistic, and entitled generation they’ve become…or, more accurately, the generation we’ve created. As much as I’ve loved mentoring, training, and retreating with them, they’ve been equally challenging to parent (our two children are also of this generation) and even more so to employ.

When asked recently what I thought were the more commonly held characteristics of a “millennial leader” I paused and reflected deeply, looking back on my own experiences and around at the research. In my most recent blog I noted the best article I found on the subject from the Boston College Center for Work and Family. What follows are my personal musings on what makes for a millennial “spiritual” leader. Please let me know your reactions…nothing here is set in cement.

1. Since they are known today as one of the most entitled generations, with an explicit emphasis on “being special” I’m wondering if one of the positive ripple effects is that the millennial spiritual leader may actually become a leader who genuinely loves others unconditionally and from the heart. With their first foot forward in leadership as love and acceptance, they quite possibly will understand more significantly what incarnational ministry is all about.

2. With no tolerance for –isms like racisim, sexism, legalism, and even materialism, and with a sensibility toward accepting others with a non-judgmental attitude, will their more egalitarian leadership style consider everyone deserving their fair share in most if not all aspects of human life and growth?

3. As a generation marked by community, with a relational priority at all times, might this be a generation which makes team service the norm, and a flatter organization chart their top choice, mostly as a reaction to what they perceive as the power-based hierarchical approach of their boomer predecessors?

4. With social media as a given, this Instagram/Facebook/Twitter/YouTube generation will most likely embrace all forms of technology even as a viable alternative to the care and nurture of the soul. As a visual, creative, innovative generation, they undoubtedly will legitimize technology as central to soul care and will figure out how best to use it with and for all levels of maturity.

5. As this generation stays actively connected via all forms of technology, silence, solitude and Sabbath rhythms of rest and renewal will most likely be compromised. Who will be the millennials who stand up for the deeper life of the Spirit and see the value of silence as the welcomed furnace of real spiritual transformation?

6. With a need and desire to truly make a difference in this world, it will be interesting to see if millennial leaders will more quickly embrace a social missional narcissism (or a narcissistic mission?), which will prioritize doing what makes one feel good about oneself as opposed to a more global approach for a much wider audience of need. Without many institutional loyalties, it will be fascinating to watch how social action and international mission get redefined by today’s growing number of millennials.

7. Since most millennials don’t want to work as long and hard as their previous generation of workaholic boomers, and make every effort to maintain no more than a 40-hour work week, will their clear divide between work and personal life produce a healthy margin and/or a lower standard of living?

8. Correspondingly, and with so many millennials still financially dependent upon their parents, will the millennial leader end up choosing meaning over money in most if not all areas of career, service, and marketplace experience, and if so, for how long in their work life will this last given the economic pressures of raising a family today?

9. As a teachable, mentorable, and enjoyable generation to serve alongside, will the importance of the biblical text continue to deepen and grow widely among millennials, or will they depend upon major ministry leaders and well known pastors to guide them along and define for them the theological issues that matter most? In addition, where will the Scriptures be studied and/or reflected upon for reasons of personal piety and holiness?

10. Finally, I wonder how the millennial spiritual leader will facilitate a prayer life that keeps in step with God’s heart…will their more casual, relaxed relationship with God end up washing away any sense of the majesty of and an awesome reverence for Almighty God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit? And, will they forge ahead without much regard for the historic Church?

All of the above are merely musings, with limited research, all gleaned from a more defined setting. But, they are the questions that I ponder deeply each new season of working with millennials and watching them grow as Christ followers and spiritual leaders in this generation. May the Lord grant His loving protection over their hearts and minds as they take the reins and learn to lead others into a sustainable Christian life in, with and for our Great God.

At a recent gathering of spiritual formation leaders working in higher education, I was asked to provide some reflections on how millennials (those who are in their 20’s today) are growing as leaders. With our work at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary’s Pierce Center for Disciple-Building as my back drop, I shared with the group how optimistic and hopeful I am regarding this generation.

Unfortunately, those who have researched millennials tend to critique them as narcissistic, entitled, lazy, and disrespectful. Other words that describe them include: confident, connected, educated, team oriented, sheltered, “me” generation. They are sometimes referred to as the “five point harness” generation…those who grew up well protected in car seats that met ever increasing strict guidelines, well protected from any potential harm or danger. They were the ones who were treated extra special by teaches and coaches…the ones who got trophies on the soccer field regardless of their performance. And, they are the generation that has grown up with the Internet, knowing more about technology than any previous group. As a result, they consider themselves special and like to be treated that way.

Who are the millennials in your sphere of influence? Can you define some of the traits that are most reflected by millennials? In what ways are you relating to millennials and how concerned or encouraged are you about this particular generation?

One of the more gracious articles I found on millennials in general, and as leaders in particular, highlighted 8 characteristics of the millennial leader (from the Boston College Center for Work and Family Executive Briefing Series):

1. Active attention (just like they value, so they will offer to others)
2. Transparency (they are more engaged when they are able to learn and understand as much as possible from their employer and team members)
3. Relevancy for others (seeking meaning in their work, and will impart relevance to their employees)
4. Relevancy for oneself (sensitized to others as well as their own growth and development pathway)
5. Passion (passionate about their work, and infuse passion into their workplace and community)
6. Accountable leadership (more likely to reject hierarchical leadership/power and will lead by team motivation, collegiality and accountability)
7. Autonomy through flexibility (when and where one works during the day is perceived as a sign of being respected; they are open to non-traditional behaviors that provide flexibility and autonomy)
8. Self-care as a reflection of organizational health (they see a direct connection between their own health and the health of their workplace; are more sensitive to ways of developing healthier work-life integration)

In addition to these more secular leadership insights, I offered a few more from my observations of millennials as spiritual leaders…which will be the focus of my next blog entry!

Labor Day has come and gone…which means summer has too! For many, it’s “back to reality” after taking one or more weeks to vacation and rest, refresh, and renew.

My wife and I just returned from a three week international trip. It was, in one word, “awesome!” In addition to celebrating our 34th wedding anniversary in Amsterdam, Holland and Bruges, Belgium (both of which were magical), we spent the majority of our time in Kenya for both a mission and vacation experience. It’s amazing to witness the beauty of God’s creation, meet people from various parts of the world, and serve side by side with Christian leaders who approach life and ministry so distinctly and beautifully.

In Kenya, we were an active part of a pastors and leaders event at St. Paul’s University in Limuru, Kenya. I spoke on the subjects of spiritual leadership, soul care, and humility. I was struck by the servants who were present for this gathering, all of whom work in adverse conditions and yet with a joyful heart. Their teachability and openness to the content we shared was remarkable. Ruth spent time with a group of young moms, pouring courage into their weary hearts. We concluded the conference blessed and challenged by their collective and individual faithfulness, perseverance, mercy, and love.

At St. Paul’s University, I also had the privilege of speaking at the dedication of the newly constructed Soteria Women’s Center, a facility designed to train, equip, and empower women in their roles as mothers and wives, leaders in the church, and entrepreneurs in business. Soteria is Greek for “salvation” which I expounded upon as a wide open space of God’s grace and goodness, using The Message translation of Romans 5:2, “We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God’s grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise.” It was a grand day of celebration, inviting all who were present to see this building as a place to invite others to receive God’s gift of soteria/salvation and spiritual renewal.

We had the joy of visiting two schools and a church that were built by our hosts, Matthew 28 Ministries, founded 7 years ago by our dear friend, Dr. Jewel Hyun. We were truly amazed to see how this ministry has been blessed and enriched by their generosity and used for the expansion of God’s Kingdom in Kenya. We also were encouraged by seeing ten micro-finance projects, all led by women who had been trained by M28M and St. Paul’s University, received a small loan, and then put their newly discovered insights and resources to good use in their small businesses. We were astounded to see how well their investment was reaping a great harvest.

We ended our trip on safari in the Maasai Mara region of Kenya. Here we were wowed by the splendor of God’s handiwork in the wide open spaces of incredible beauty and among the habitation of birds and mammels that share planet earth with all of us. We saw nearly 30 different mammels, including giraffes, zebras, elephants, wildabeests, lions, cheetahs, monkeys, gazelles, topi, impala, and many beautiful birds. We serve an awesome and creative God!

As you reflect on your summer, let me encourage you to journal your memories so that you don’t lose the power and importance of each experience. The Lord is gracious and merciful, compassionate and loving, and He wants you to notice His work in your midst…all for His honor and glory! God bless you with the abundance of His joy as you remember and give thanks for the gifts of summer 2013.

From Susanna Wesley (1669-1742)
God, I give you the praise for days well spent. But I am yet unsatisfied, because I do not enjoy enough of you. I apprehend myself at too great a distance from you. I would have my soul more closely united to you by faith and love. You know Lord that I would love you above all things, You made me, you know my desires, my expectations. My joys all centre in you and it is you that I desire. It is your favour, your acceptance, the communications of your grace that I earnestly wish for more than anything in the world. I rejoice in your essential glory and blessedness. I rejoice in my relation to you, that you are my Father, my Lord and my God. I thank you that you have brought me so far. I will beware of despairing of your mercy for the time which is yet to come, and will give you the glory of your free grace.

From John Wesley (1703-91)
Deliver me, O God, from a slothful mind, from all lukewarmness, and all dejection of spirit. I know these cannot but deaden my love to thee; mercifully free my heart from them, and give me a lively, zealous, active, and cheerful spirit; that I may vigorously perform whatever thou commandest, thankfully suffer whatever thou choosest for me, and be ever ardent to obey in all things thy holy love.

From Martin Luther (1483-1546)
Behold, Lord, an empty vessel that needs to be filled. My Lord, fill it. I am weak in the faith; strengthen me. I am cold in love; warm me and make me fervent that my love may go out to my neighbor. I do not have a strong and firm faith; at times I doubt and am unable to trust you altogether. O Lord, help me. Strengthen my faith and trust in you. In you I have sealed the treasures of all I have. I am poor; you are rich and came to be merciful to the poor. I am a sinner; you are upright. With me there is an abundance of sin; in you is the fullness of righteousness. Therefore, I will remain with you, of whom I can receive, but to whom I may not give. Amen.

From John Calvin (1509-64)
My God, Father and Saviour, since you have commanded us to work in order to meet our needs, sanctify our labour that it may bring nourishment to our souls as well as to our bodies. Make us constantly aware that our efforts are worthless unless guided by your light and strengthened by your hand. Make us faithful to the particular tasks for which you have bestowed upon us the necessary gifts, taking from us any envy or jealousy at the vocations of others. Give us a good heart to supply the needs of the poor, saving from any desire to exalt ourselves over those who receive our bounty. And if you should call us into greater poverty than we humanly desire, save us from any spirit of defiance or resentment but rather let us graciously and humbly receive the bounty of others. Above all may every temporal grace be matched by spiritual grace that in both body and soul we may live to your glory.