Steve's Blog

There’s something very fascinating about watching teams synchronize and coordinate their efforts…swimming, dancing, skiing, etc. When ministry teams are in sync there is sweetness in both the execution of gifts and the multiplication of fruitfulness.

Recently the Leadership Transformations ministry team had a day of synchronized service that was delightful…even though on this particular day we were miles apart from one another. One team member was coaching a church in Colorado. Another pair of team members were leading a soul care retreat day for women in MA. Still another team couple was facilitating a church retreat in Vermont. And yours truly was teaching spiritual guides about the soul in MA. All on the same day.

When our team is in sync with one another, there’s an explosion of joy. This happens when we’re serving in the same setting, as well as when we’re separated by miles and time zones.  Relationally we love one another deeply. Missionally we share a common hope for the spiritual formation of leaders. Spiritually we are prayerful in each other’s behalf.  Emotionally we are for one another’s success. Bottom line: it’s very sweet.

The Scriptures are replete with examples of oneness, unity, and synchronized living. The Bible is also filled with stories of disunity and disharmony in the body. Jesus’ arrival on planet earth had an explicit goal of reconciling people to God and then harmonizing their efforts toward the building up of God’s Kingdom. Is that the desire of your team too?

The growing community of those who are crafting a rule of life (www.RuleOfLife.com) are learning that their gifts and talents are to be used in concert with others in the body of Christ. Share your story with those on our team and join the journey today!

“Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” (Eph. 4: 3-6).

When my wife purchased the four foot wide portable closet unit for our basement one of my friends said, “Those are a piece of cake to assemble.” I needed a second person to help me get it out of her car; it’s amazing how heavy particle board has become! Thankfully I now had some help putting it together as well.

When we opened the box, all the parts seemed to be there, but the kick plates were damaged (hint: particle board is heavy but fragile) as were the two front doors. But, we soldiered on, determined to accomplish the task before us. Working on the cement floor was taxing; construction was relatively straight forward; completion was eventual (but not as quick as we had hoped).

After all was said and done, the closet unit now full of supplies, I realized once again: projects like these are not my gift, nor my talent. As a result, rarely a joy.

When I’m using gifts or talents that either come naturally or supernaturally, I’m not only living in my sweet spot, but delightedly so! Here my gifts are given to serve others, for the building up the Church and growing the Kingdom of God. When my gifts are displayed with joy and passion, I’m contributing to the abundance of life in Christ for all who cross my path.

Knowing your gifts and understanding your temperament are important elements for the crafting of your personal rule of life. See how others are leaning into this way of being at http://www.RuleOfLife and join the journey into the abundance of life in Christ. “Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5: 16). Shine on dear friend!

I love watching those around me use their gifts in service to God and others. Ruth has the gift of hospitality. Dave has the gift of leadership. Diana has the gift of teaching. Susan has the gift of wisdom. Rick has the gift of encouragement. And the list goes on and on…

Each of these friends are in their “sweet spot” (a golf metaphor that works well here too!) when living within their area of giftedness. There’s something very beautiful about observing and receiving from others in the body of Christ who know their gifts and fulfill them for God’s glory.

What about you? What are your spiritual gifts? The Bible teaches us about many gifts available to those who lean on the Spirit to release from within their God-ordained gifts. There are lists of such gifts in places like Romans 12, Ephesians 4, 1 Corinthians 12, as well as scattered texts found elsewhere. Here we find gifts such as teaching, administration, helps, evangelism, leadership, mercy, hospitality, and generosity. Each gift comes from the generous hand of God, offered to His disciples, and provided for the edification of others.

When we craft our rule of life (www.RuleOfLife.com) we are invited to consider the discovery of our own gifts. We are urged to prayerfully lean into our giftedness and freely share our true selves within the context of the body of Christ. Life is all the richer when we know our gifts and offer them up as a fragrant symbol of our daily worship and our service to all who cross our path. When we function in our sweet spot, then others are encouraged to do likewise.

“Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good” (1 Cor. 12: 7).

My spiritual director equates a personal rule of life to a “wise friend” – similar to the relationship we have with someone who has wisdom, strength, courage, conviction, tenderness, compassion, and love. Likened to a person with whom we entrust our lives, having productive conversations, whether easy or challenging, so too will a rule of life always bring about abundance from within.

A wise friend…are you that to another? Do you have such a friend yourself? When I consider my own life, I feel very fortunate to look back and around me, able to list several wise friends who were there for me when I needed them the most. Rich, who wisely led me into salvation. Warren, who wisely welcomed me into ministry. David, who wisely instructed me to pray. Bob, who wisely challenged me in my leadership. Caleb, who wisely came alongside me during a difficult decision. Paul, who wisely chastised me when I chose cynicism rather than forgiveness. Brad, who wisely counseled me to be a more sensitive husband and loving father.

I am forever grateful for my wise friends. They have been like rudders under my ship, steering me away from treacherous shoals, guiding me during turbulent seasons, and sustaining me during calm waters. Their wisdom has been my strength. Their wisdom has been to my benefit. Their wisdom has been pure gift to my soul.

So now I hope I’m able to offer the wisdom of years and experience to those who cross my path. I want to be a wise friend rather than a foolish one. A fool leads others astray, encourages the false self, and looks the other way when another is about to fall. A fool has no grounding, no backbone, and no firm foundation. A fool is unwilling to speak truth in love, doesn’t know the power of forgiveness and grace. A fool is not a friend at all.

We need wise friends. We are called to be wise friends. Our rule of life is like a wise friend, and sustains us in our desire to be a wise friend to another. Keep the conversation alive both with God, your Fount of Wisdom, and with others who come alongside you as your friends. Join the journey with others at http://www.ruleoflife.com and watch how mentors and wise friends are encouraging the abundant life.

“He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm” Proverbs 13:20.

I often remind leaders of the importance of cultivating their most central relationships, continually deepening their ties with those who “know you best and love you most.” When you know with certainty that you are loved and celebrated by those closest to you, then you have strength to sustain any winds that seek to blow you off course. When you are confident of faithful commitment that stands the test of time, then you receive courage to withstand any predators that come to tempt you, and shared wisdom to avoid any rocks that emerge to trip you up along the pathway of life.

However, there are far too many who exist daily without such support. They continually seek the approval or applause of others, but within their heart they may never discover how empty and shallow are such attempts. They want so much to be recognized and affirmed, they will do almost anything to garner basic life support and cure the relentless emptiness deep within. They don’t have those who know them well and love them in spite of themselves. As a result, they are left with full and busy lives, but not nearly as fulfilling as they desire.

This is the spectrum: those who know they are dearly loved on one end, and those who can’t imagine why anyone would know them as beloved on the other. Most of us are somewhere in between. Regardless of where we are on this continuum, we all long for the very same thing: to be known and loved.

During Lent we remember the temptations of Jesus and we experience our own. We recognize our rapidly escalating expectations for a hope beyond this life, and we wait longingly for Holy Week. In and through it all we are led into the security of one great truth that’s a stake in the ground by which no stronghold can conquer: Jesus Christ knows us best and loves us most. The love of the resurrected Jesus is our only sure repose during the days when we don’t feel loved or lovely whatsoever. Jesus knows us intimately, unconditionally, lavishly. In Him and through Him and by Him and because of Him we are known and loved.

Rest well dear friend in the reality of Christ’s redemptive love. No matter the heartache of your past or present circumstance, be assured of this one thing: Jesus loves you. On this one simple truth your life and mine is transformed.

As you craft your personal rule of life, remember always the fragrance of love and be held and sustained by the scent. Join the journey of building and growing healthy relationships at http://www.RuleOfLife.com

The following was written in my journal on a recent vacation day when I found the changes in the sky reflective of the various relationships that add spice to my personal rule of life…

A rainbow to greet us and remind us of God’s faithful, unending love.
Sunshine and blue skies reminiscent of the promises and blessings of life in abundance.
Occasional clouds that skip across the skyline to shade and shadow the earth below.
A dark cloud descends with rain to shower the earth and slow down our torrential lives.
Sunshine brought on by the dawn; sunset to brighten and then sullen the sleepy horizon.
Moonlight and starlight to dazzle and amaze the deep violet sky.
All in one day. For all to employ. So noticeably vibrant, alive, beautiful, faithful, surreal.
So too are the relationships that sparkle and splatter and surprise and scatter our days.
Some filled with beauty and joy – others accompanied by sadness and need – still more that come and go to delight or disappoint.
But all in one day and all to embrace, for all will be with us both now and forevermore.

Our roles and relationships matter significantly to the life God invites us to humbly fulfill for Christ’s glory. Join others who are crafting their rule of life and share your story at http://www.RuleOfLife.com

As we listen and attend to the loving voice of God, He invites us into a relationship of ever-deepening intimacy. That’s the way God has worked in the hearts of His beloved children since the day Adam and Eve walked freely in the garden. His welcome is consistently one of affectionate blessing toward all whom He created…including you and me.

Our best response to His divine invitation is to seek His glory in both private and public worship, solidify our understanding of His call on our life, and then lean fully into a vibrant walk of daily faith. This is where our personal rule of life becomes a central focus…our gracious response to God’s loving initiatives.

Becoming lovingly intentional begins with our roles and relationships with others. What are your roles and with whom are you currently in relationship? For example, your roles may include being a child of God, a mother or father, a sister or brother, a friend, worker, student, etc. Within such roles there exist several relationships…all with names and faces, stories and needs, etc.

Interview the Spirit prayerfully, inquire of others specifically, process with your small group, and reflect personally on questions like the following: what are my primary roles and relationships? Am I seeking a realistic number of roles and relationships? In what ways could I be contributing to the health and/or healing of my primary relationships? With whom shall I reach out today?

Sitting prayerfully with such questions allows us the privilege of serving others in Jesus name, even offering a cup of cold water to refresh their heart with our presence, prayers and provisions of grace. We were meant to exist among others and within community. Renew today the pursuit of your roles and relationships with loving intentionality.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus” Phil. 2:3-5.

For more information on crafting a rule of life join the online community at  www.RuleOfLife.com

Ever sit with a selective listener? They only want to hear what tickles their fancy, satisfies their current preferences, keeps communication shallow, and/or entices their self-centereed curiosity. Usually lacking in attentiveness and oftentimes accompanied by impatience, a selective listener will choose to hear what they want and disregard the rest.

When that happens the listener often misses the deeper, most crucial message. Hearing the words but missing the meaning can lead one down a primrose lane of pretense which lacks depth, maturity, and wisdom. For such listeners the journey is only a good one when fulfilling that which is easiest to hear and follow…have you ever been such a listener?

Crafting a rule of life invites us to consider unhindered, unbiased, uncontrolled, and unhurried listening.  Attending first to the voice of God, and then to those who know us best and love us most, is the starting point of discovery. When we do so we are making a fundamental decision of life as a follower of Christ – listen first and then respond.

Listen long and hard and deep and slow…so you don’t miss the voice of the One who created you, calls you by name, knows all about you, and has your best interests in mind. Choose that path and avoid the potholes of selective listening…it will lead you into the abundant life of fuller awareness and into the freedom that comes hand in hand with joyful submission to the call of God.

“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight , so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ – to the glory and praise of God,” (Phil. 1:9-11).

This past weekend we were thrilled with the positive response to our inaugural “Soul Care for Leaders” event at LTi Houston (TX). David and Cindy Wu, Matt Scott, and the team at Access Church, were used of the Lord in powerful ways and we give God all the glory, honor and praise.

At this seminar we released and commissioned my new IVP/Formatio book, Crafting A Rule of Life: An Invitation to the Well-Ordered Way. There was great interest in the subject of a personal rule of life and that made my heart glad. How I pray this interactive workbook will be an encouragement to all who read and process the material in the days ahead. The longing and prayer of my heart is that each reader will discover afresh the unique God-given call on their life.

As believers, it’s vital that we attend to the intimate “tap, tap, tap” on the shoulder of our hearts – the ongoing and loving initiatives of our heavenly Father toward us as his children. His consistent invitation is to draw near, come close, and follow him. The extravagance of his love is overwhelming to consider and life-transforming to receive. May your heart remain open and receptive to the many gracious gifts that come moment by moment from his generous hand.

Attending to God’s initiatives is the starting place of crafting your personal rule of life. From that posture of attentiveness, we are invited to respond to the daily question, “What is the Lord inviting me to consider as I…(fill in the blank regarding decisions, relationships, and responsibilities you face today)?” Answering that question and intentionally pursuing faithfulness to the Lord’s call on our life is what sets us apart as children of the Most High God.

When God taps on the shoulder of your heart today and offers you life in all its fulness (the good and the bad, the easy and the hard), let me encourage you to receive it well. Allow God to reform your relationships, renew your commitments, and reorder your loves. As you do so, the person you’ll become will unfold like a freshly formed flower blossoming forth with the fragrance of heaven and bless all who cross your path here on earth.

“You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand ,” Psalm 16:11.

God cannot love except abundantly.
God does not love except extravagantly.
God will not love except it be gracefully, mercifully, forgivingly, righteously, unconditionally.
There is no end to God’s love. Thus, it is true – God is love.
From the porch of heaven your God has His eyes fixed on you. No matter how long you have strayed from home, He’s watching out for your return. So prodigal is His love for you, dear friend. His love initiates toward you 24/7 – and his tap, tap, tap on the shoulder of your heart will never end.
Sit prayerfully with that reality of the gospel we profess and your life will never be the same ever again.
His initiating love toward you is all because he wants your heart back in the fullness of His embrace. Every ounce of your being held closely to Himself, each fiber of your being under the shadow of His protective wings.
There – in His presence – and only there will you and I find fullness of life.
From that posture of worship and intimate love we spread our wings and fly toward others as an expression of our love for God and our obedience to the call of God on our lives. This is the context out of which we understand what a Personal Rule of Life looks like…a life well-ordered (and continuously re-ordered) around the love of God – initiated toward us by Father, Son, and Holy Spirit – and therefore fulfilled through us as we intentionally live among all others for His glory, honor and joy.
Come and receive from the Lord the Divine Invitation to intimate love – and then go forth to fulfill His Divine Intentionality through you as a child of God toward all who cross your path each new day.
This is the heart and soul of a Personal Rule of Life – may it be so for you and for me!
“How great is the love the Father has LAVISHED on us, that we should be called children of God!” (1 John 3:1)